Finding Jessica Lambert

4.25 Stars. This was a really good contemporary romance. I’m still on my quest to knock off the top level of my to read list so of course Ashton was there sitting near the top. I loved her last book, The Goodmans, and knowing that this was a celebrity romance (one of my favorite tropes) well let’s just say that I was frustrated that this book sat on my kindle for so long, waiting to be read. While I didn’t end up enjoying this as much as The Goodmans, I feel like this is a book I will remember and might even appreciate it more as time goes by. <br /><br />I’m shocked to be saying this but I struggled with this book in the beginning. Right around the 20% mark I almost DNF’d this. I was not thinking a DNF forever, but just a DNF for now with hope that I could give this a try in the future. I could not connect with the characters or even the dialogue. While one of the characters is only in her 20’s (this is an age-gap romance), she was feeling super young to me. I could not really see a connection forming between the characters, and I was just feeling lost as this didn’t seem like an Ashton book to me. As tempted as I was to quit and move on to another book, I just knew I shouldn’t really doubt Ashton, plus all my friends who loved this book. I kept on reading and shortly after the 30% mark the book finally clicked for me. I don’t know what happened but it was like night and day and finally I felt that Ashton magic. I’m so happy I didn’t give up and miss out on such an enjoyable story. I thought this was important to mention encase there are readers that come after me that have similar trouble at first. Keep reading, the story gets so much better and you will soon find that you don’t want to put the book down.<br /><br />I ended up loving the whole flow and structure of the story. It was so nice to have some conflict and angst but that it was made to have the characters question their behavior and bring each other closer. It was a part of their story and character growth, and not just thrown in at the end like it normally is. I really wish more romance authors would try writing like this because it works so much better and it makes you really believe in the possibility of a HEA ending. <br /><br />I’m late to the party on this book so it has many wonderful reviews already. There is not much left for me to say that hasn’t been said already so I’ll keep this review on the shorter side for me. If you are a celebrity romance fan I don’t think you can go wrong with this book. Yes, I found the beginning to be quite bumpy, but I’m so glad I didn’t give up and that I was able to really enjoy this read. This is currently available on Kindle Unlimited.

<b>Edit:</b> August 30th, 2021, audiobook review.<br /><br />I love this book so much. I love the story, I love the writing, I most of all love the main characters, Anna and Jess. It wasn’t an easy book for me to read, and listening was slightly easier because I already knew the story (which was a good thing as I started listening on a walk on the cliff and part of chapter 2 got lost to the wind). But the reasons why it’s not easy are also the reasons why I love it.<br /><br />I’m very much like Jess in many respects (social awkwardness, that feeling that you’ve not been giving the same set of rules as everyone else at the start of the game, the mimicking when you’re not sure how to act, the not thinking well on your feet…) but my experience of closing down resembles Anna’s. Whenever the author mentions “something the old Anna would have done” or “someone from before”, it resonates with me because that’s how I speak of my life. There’s a before and a now. Until not long ago, <a href="https://judeinthestars.com" rel="nofollow noopener">my blog</a> was named Not Me Anymore, and as I’ve explained before, it’s because I’m both the same person I always was and not, like Anna. I changed the name recently because it didn’t make as much sense now that 99.99% of what I post is reviews, but what it meant is still very true. It’s an interesting experience to be able to relate to both MCs, even more so to what makes them fragile.<br /><br />Jess and Anna’s relationship, their falling in love, is so evident, so delicate, so delightful yet painful at times, that getting to witness it feels precious. Sometimes you meet someone in whatever circumstances and there’s an instant connection. It can be love, it can be friendship, it’s often deep and feels like fate. For someone like me, who struggles with interactions (unlike Anna, I was always like that, even in my own “before”), it’s both terrifying and elating. Clare Ashton describes it perfectly, the easiness, the immediate trust, the surprise too.<br /><br />Even though I’d already loved them when I read them, some scenes sounded even better in audio. The back and forth between Jess and Anna when they’re both trying to figure out the other’s sexual orientation is hilarious, and the intimate scenes are even sexier. I have minor issues with the narration (the men’s voices aren’t very distinctive, the narrator’s slight lisp was sometimes distracting – and I say that as someone with a lisp of my own, which may have made me more sensitive to it, and I wish Anna’s voice was as melodious as Clare Ashton describes it), but nothing that stopped me from enjoying it a lot. The pace is great, the tone is too, Jess’s voice is perfect, there are nuances and subtle changes that make it lovely overall.<br /><br />The only thing that could make this book better would be if I didn’t know it yet and got to read it for the first time again.<br />------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Finding Jessica Lambert took my breath away, literally and figuratively. I loved it and it totally triggered my anxiety.<br /><br />I knew what I was getting into. My friend Gaby from LezReviewBooks, who read it before I did (<a href="https://lezreviewbooks.com/lesbian-age-gap-romance-finding-lambert-ashton/" rel="nofollow noopener">her review is here</a>), told me it reminded her of me. So yeah, I knew. Good news is, it really was worth pushing through, and if I can do it, you probably can too.<br /><br />I guess I should apologise right now, since this review will be a lot more about me than about the book. Which you should definitely read. I’m not giving it 5* because I’m a narcissist and it speaks to me, I’m giving it 5* because it’s awesome, with fantastic characters, sweet romance and steamy scenes.<br /><br />Jess and Anna meet on the London Tube, with Jess in the midst of a panic attack and Anna stepping up to help. Despite the age difference and both women’s struggles (for different reasons) with anxiety, they click immediately. They both open up to each other surprisingly fast, showing who they really are yet both hiding part of themselves, the professional part.<br /><br />In French, when something happens behind closed doors, like a hearing, court proceedings etc., we call that a huis clos. There’s a huis clos feel to the first part of this story, but not in a claustrophobic way, rather in a safe haven way. Anna brings Jess to her small roof-top flat and they stay there for a couple of days, away from the world and everything that’s terrifying Anna nowadays and exhausting Jess. Everything is simple, then. Easy. Natural. Then life takes over again but neither is on her own anymore, they’re already stronger together. That’s one of the things I loved, that sense of strength that comes from having the right person by your side. Jess may not always understand what Anna is going through (and vice versa) but she gets her, and Anna gets Jess. It also doesn’t hurt that they have amazing chemistry.<br /><br />I have a confession to make: this is my first book by Clare Ashton. I own a few others but haven’t read them yet. Don’t ask why, I don’t know. Life, lack of time, the usual. No good reason, really. Anyway, my first. And it begins with an anxiety-filled scene, one character in a panic attack with the other on the edge of her own. In the Tube, ie the London metro, when a lot of mine happen in the Paris metro (which I almost never take anymore). Ugh. Thank you, brain, for managing that and for holding on.<br /><br />My situation and Jess’s (and Anna’s to some extent) are nothing alike and yet they are. Burning out is burning out, whatever the reasons, whatever the life. Even your dream job can kill you slowly from the inside. You either get out on time or you break. It’s that simple. One of life’s rare instances where things are truly black and white.<br /><br />Beyond the burnout, I’m also a lot like Jess (not the movie star side, nor the English person of colour part, obviously): social interactions exhaust me, noises and lights stun me, I thrive in small chosen groups, I don’t deal well with surprises, I need time to process, sometimes even with the simplest things, so I hate phone calls and chit chat. In the right circumstances, I’m bright and witty and fun, but not so much when I’m overwhelmed.<br /><br />So yeah, reading this has been hard. And so so so worth it. Jess is adorable and I felt like swooning anytime Anna spoke. We’re going to need this in audiobook, by the way.<br /><br />I’m very character-driven, which makes this book all the more appreciated. Besides Jess and Anna, it is filled with quite a few lovely (and not so lovely) characters. Jess’s family wins all the awards, whereas Anna’s mother would go home with the Razzie. There’s a lot more to love in this book than its characters, however. It’s beautifully written, for one. It shows the other side of the fame coin, the price of success. It’s poignant yet never whiny, it’s full of angst and hope, it’s sexy and human and delightful.<br /><br />My friend Jules said it best <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3398399459" rel="nofollow noopener">in her review</a>, and allowed me to borrow her words: “Do not expect a big, loud plot. Instead, sit back and appreciate a masterful telling that is devastating in the passion and turmoil it creates. Pay attention to the quiet moments that the author uses to amplify their relationship. Anticipation can be brutally delicious, especially when the author delivers the heat with perfect timing. Read and be thrilled.” That’s it. Read and be thrilled.

Clare Ashton is one of the best lesfic writers out there. I admire not only her writing talent but also the variety of her work. She can produce dark novels such as ‘Pennance’, angsty books like ‘After Mrs. Hamilton’ and feel-good romances as ‘Poppy Jenkins’. While ‘Finding Jessica Lambert’ is a romance, it delves into the depth of the human psyche, the despair of people suffering from anxiety and somehow, it comes out with a message of love and hope.<br /><br />Jessica Lambert is a famous movie star who is burnt out from overwork and the pressure of fame. When running away in the midst of a panic attack, she is taken in by the enigmatic and more mature Anna, who lives a life isolated from the world. Without knowing anything about each other, both women feel an intense connection. But what happens when reality bites?<br /><br />This was such an amazing read. ‘Finding Jessica Lambert’ is a masterclass on how to build chemistry between two apparently very different characters – in age, race, and personality – and make it work effortlessly. Ms. Ashton builds a magnetic connection from the leads’ first casual encounter and slowly forms such a strong bond between them that it’s impossible to think them apart from each other.<br /><br />‘Finding Jessica Lambert’ is a lesbian age-gap romance book about overcoming inner demons, imaginary and real. It’s hard to find in fiction flawed characters that are so appealing in both their strengths and shortcomings so much so that they seem to come out of the page with a life of their own. That’s what makes this story so appealing.<br /><br />Ms. Ashton has a way with words that is almost cinematographic, the reader can see the story unfold in front of their eyes. In the background, London is another main character, a city that can be both beautiful and oppressive. I lived there for 7 years and I felt transported to the capital in every single description of the cityscape. It was like traveling without moving from my room.<br /><br />I have no complaints about this book apart from wishing that the author could write faster because her books are incredible journeys that I’m always willing to take. I cannot recommend it more. 5+ stars.<br /><br />ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.<br /><br />See all my reviews at <a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="http://www.lezreviewbooks.com">www.lezreviewbooks.com</a>

There goes Ms. Ashton reminding me why she’s one of the best lesfic authors out there ! <br /><br />Brilliant story, brilliant characters, brilliant writing! <br /><br />I highly recommend this book! I enjoyed every single second of it!

<b>Captivating story with multi layered writing.</b><br /><br /><u>The plot.</u> While in the midst of a massive anxiety attack, and dodging a possible stalker, superstar Jessica Lambert finds safety in the company of a reclusive woman named Anna. Not only does Anna prove to be a calming presence, she also allows Jess a moment to breath while hiding out in Anna's apartment. But now that everything has calmed down, it seems both woman are more than curious about the other and inevitably questions about their identity start to arise. <br /><br /><u>The characters.</u> Jess may be a famous movie star but I found myself really connecting with this woman. She suffers from panic and anxiety issues like I do and frankly finds other people exhausting to be around. <i>*whispers*</i> Me too! Then there's the mysterious Anna. Right off the bat I clocked her sometimes odd behavior and immediately started connecting the dots about her background. More on that in the paragraphs below. <br /><br /><u>The writing.</u> As I've pointed out in the title of this review, Clare Ashton's writing is always multi layered. This isn't just a cookie cutter romance novel, the plot is well thought out and offers a gripping story about two women, each with their own secrets. Add to that the sizzling chemistry between the MC's and you have one hell of a page turner.<br /><br /><u>The special.</u> Review number 500 and I honestly couldn't have chosen a better book to read. Having fallen in love with Clare's writing in "Poppy Jenkins" and "The Goodmans", this book became an automatic read as soon as it was released. <br /><br /><u>The negative.</u> Without spoiling anything hopefully, a few years ago I went through something similar to Anna's experience. Though the whole ordeal lasted roughly four months, it forever changed me. It was quite honestly very difficult to get through some chapters because my own experience would come flooding back. But I suppose that's also why I also managed to connect with Anna as well.<br /><br /><u>The verdict.</u> Though this book tackles some difficult issues, I still loved everything about it. It's a re-read for sure some time in the future and certainly a must read for anyone looking for a heartfelt and sweet story. Full 5* rating!

I am still basking in post-book bliss from this one. What a literary delight. It is no secret that Ms. Ashton is one of my favourite lesfic authors, and when her books come out (too far and few between for my liking), I unashamedly drop whatever I am reading to dig into hers. And this one did not disappoint. <br /><br />I devoured the characters of Jess and Anna. The author delved deep into their psyches for this one and put mental health on centre stage (literally). Anxiety and panic, identity, heavy baggage of responsibility, creepy people, loyalty, dirt-bag mothers, another amazing grandmother, hot sex....it's all there, folks. I fell for the characters hard. As always, Ms. Ashton describes her environments and setting with lovely, unforgettable details, and has firecracker side characters such as Penny and Nan for comic relief. <br /><br />Even the title fucking rocks. Yes, Jessica Lambert is a celebrity, and this book takes us on a journey of her finding herself again. However, Anna "found" Jess on the train, and without that meeting, she may not have been able to find her way back to her true self. This story is equally about two intriguing women, with a 15 year age gap, but it's so eloquent, so real, so relatable in the emotional department. You don't have to be a famous actress to "get" this book. <br /><br />Guys, I even paused my brand new PS4 game (LAST OF US II GO GET IT DAMN IT'S AMAZING), to inhale this fantastic book. Even though it is longer than traditional lesfic, I wanted more. MORE! I already want to go back to page one and tease out any missed details.  I wish I had more words, but really, doesn't a 5/5 sum it up? 

<b>No words to express how much I loved it. I should have read it earlier.</b><br /><br />I would have read this book earlier had I read the blurb because of my partiality for ice queens and celebrities. But I didn’t and it only piqued my interest when it showed up in many people’s top 10 list of books in 2020. <br /><br />I struggle to put to words how amazing this book is and how much I love it, so I’m not going to even try. Most people would have read this by now and those who haven’t, need to. <br /><br />Jessica Lambert is a movie star in danger of burning out. Returning to London for the premiere of her latest film, she’s recognised everywhere she goes and that is when she runs away. She is taken in by a beautiful and mature Anna who has reclused herself for years. Anna and her flat soon become a safe haven for Jess. And as the two get acquainted and layers are stripped away, both appreciate what each does for the other. <br /><br />This book started slow to the point that the characters did practically nothing but appreciated each other all day long. But that was when it struck me just how eloquent Ashton was, so much so that I considered giving this book five stars even without a plot. This story picked up speed shortly after and it never really slowed down and by this time I was captivated completely by the plot, the writing, the characters and everything else the author had to offer. This includes the side characters (yes, I meant Penny). I found myself laughing and bawling my eyes out at various moments of the four hours I spent reading and having to placate two starving and angry bunnies after that (I forgot about them, sorry.)<br /><br />All I want to say is I should have read this earlier.

Loved this age gap story. So hard to put down. Highly recommended!

Just...how? How, how, HOW does Clare Ashton keep knocking these out the park? Her range is immaculate, wow. Once I saw reviews cropping up of her new book, I was all ready to devour it.<br /><br />Then, this author delivers a romantic, clever, gorgeous, celebrity-focused, age-gap slow burn story starring two absolutely crush-worthy leads! I'm relieved when other lesfic authors give me one, but <i>two</i>!? Ashton could teach a master class.<br /><br />I almost don't want to type too much. This deserves to be read. (watch as I proceed to type too much)<br /><br />And if this helps: holy lady parts, this woman can write some sexy love scenes. I wasn't disappointed at all. Especially with the buildup to it.<br /><br />I've had issues with some non-POC lesfic writers' portrayal of WOC (in this case, black/white) characters in the past. Well, I take no issue here. Jess is portrayed in a nuanced way, free of tired tropes and out-of-touch dialogue. I can tell that Ashton was very sensitive to this, even bringing up racial bigotry without hitting us over the head with it. Jess is also neurodivergent! What a delight she is, with her beautiful dark eyes, killer body, and (swoon) awkwardness! I love a well-written awkward lady.<br /><br />As for Anna. I'm smitten. I am in book love. Nothing more to say there. <br /><br />Another thing was well-done and something I don't think I see enough: <input type="checkbox" class="spoiler__control" aria-label="The following text has been marked spoiler. Toggle checkbox to reveal or hide." onchange="this.labels[0].setAttribute('aria-hidden', !this.checked);" id="6a6af7b0-a662-4ec4-bc6a-3b52a8b27745" /><label aria-hidden="true" class="spoiler" for="6a6af7b0-a662-4ec4-bc6a-3b52a8b27745">In the end, when Anna makes it very known that if her mother didn't rid herself of her bigotry and demeaning attitude, Anna would no longer subject herself to it. She knew to not only protect her own heart, but to protect Jess from her mother's hatefulness. </label><br /><br />Did I mention there's flirting? Lots of it and it's delicious.<br /><br />This is all over the place, so I'll stop here. If any of my scrambled review appeals to you, read it. Now! Five stars!

This cover? Yeah, not a fan. It feels like a 60s throw-back. Possibly a 60s throw-up. So I'm really glad I came across it attached to a great review that piqued my interest despite the awful cover.<br /><br />The first semi-analytical thought I had about this book is that it was slow but I was enjoying it anyway. Like, the pace felt glacial with the author spending a lot of space on establishing the inner worlds and contexts of the main characters. It wasn't long after that where I realized that this pacing was a substantial part of <em>why I found it so engaging</em>. Both Anna and Jess are internal processers with related, but different, inner landscapes in crisis. We meet Jess as she is going through something like a breakdown caused by her increasing fame. And Anna is able to offer security and peace due to having worked hard to find it for herself; only for us to discover that she is at a point of plateau she desperately needs to get past. So Anna needs the courage to break out of some of the careful bounds she has created for herself. And Jess needs the courage to establish some careful bounds to protect the most vulnerable parts of herself from the rigors of her profession.<br /><br />So you see how internal that all is, right? So it's a good thing that the author is extremely good at mapping those inner landscapes and making them interesting and relevant. It helps, of course, that the story is centered around both protagonists being in a state of flux, so there's plenty of action, even if it's largely internal.<br /><br />But that's all subtle structure things and wouldn't have worked if Jess and Anna weren't interesting, both in their own rights as well as in their engagement with each other. I loved seeing them support and trust one another, even in the parts where that broke down and they had to rebuild. And I'll admit to being impatient during a dark moment and its aftermath. Because I like it when people get over themselves and forge stronger bonds from adversity. But that wouldn't have been true to these characters and the inner constructs Ashton had so carefully wrought.<br /><br />So yeah, what I'm saying is that this is a solid five stars that I devoured gratefully. I'll admit that the pacing took some getting used to and that will throw readers out of the story if a fast pace and lots of events are your thing. But I was happy to settle into the storytelling and just gorge on the characters as they were presented.<br /><br /><strong>A note about race</strong>: I loved more than a little that Jess was bi-racial and that she embraced that as a strength in her career. Yes, it meant she was a bigger lightning rod for both positive and negative obsession, but it also meant she stood out in ways she could leverage. A note in the end has the author state some trepidation with that aspect of the story and things she did to overcome potential hazards in writing her character. I'm not sure how this will ring for others, but I thought it was a strong aspect of the story in all the right ways. That said, I'm hardly an accurate barometer for that, being an old white guy, myself...<br /><br /><strong>A note about Steamy</strong>: There are three explicit sex scenes, I think, putting this in the middle of my steam tolerance. They were extremely well-done and fit the tone of the story (i.e. as much internal effects as physical ones). Further, they were in service to the arc of the story and thus very well-done.