Here Again Now

Now shortlisted for the 2023 RSL Encore Award having been longlisted for the 2023 Jhalak Prize. <br /><br />I was first alerted to this book when a tweet by a Booker Prize 2022 judge of the backs of books she was reading for the prize showed the author’s name from this book and when I saw that Derek Owusu (author of “That Reminds Me”) had commented “I honestly believe Nzelu is the future of Black British writing” I knew I had to read it (as I would consider Derek himself that future). <br /><br />I was familiar with (but had not read) the author’s first novel “The Private Joys of Nnenna Maloney” but whereas that was a humorous coming of age story, this is a much more serious and almost self-consciously literary novel, albeit the author has identified that both books aim to <i>“to shine a light on the pain of individuals within groups, to force us to look at vulnerable people, to demonstrate the interconnectedness of people, to show how much we need each other."</i><br /><br />When I started reading the book – one of the first notes I made to myself for my review was “Jane Austen” so I was intrigued to see that the author has stated Austen as his favourite author. I was also intrigued to see that this particular book was inspired by the biblical book of Ruth. <br /><br />I would then perhaps describe this as an <b> Austen inspired, self-consciously literary and studious interior examination of race and diaspora, but more so of masculine relationships and identity, and above all of love, all with a particular focus on queer, black British-Nigerian men and on father-son relationships in a variety of forms (including step son and effectively son-in-law)</b><br /><br />The book has effectively only three characters – with the handful of side characters being completely overshadowed by a very deliberately intrusive omniscient narration. It takes place over a few days although with characters roaming back over many more years in their reflections during those days. <br /><br />Achike and Okoro were close friends from their late secondary school years (now some twenty plus years previously) in Manchester – Okoro, something of a school drop-out even being taken in by Achike’s father Chibuike when Okoro’s mother makes him unwelcome; both then moving to London to try to further their acting careers. Both at different times have had loved the other and wanted the love to be returned (and even their relationship to be formalised) and at others understood the other’s wishes but been unable to return the love, but except for one, oft referred to night in Berlin when they were almost able to reach a mutual expression of love, have always stayed at a distance (a key theme in the novel).<br /><br />Whereas Okoro has curbed his dreams for a role as a high-school drama teacher; Achike (who’s one vulnerability is a lifelong series of migraines which punctuate the text) has gone from strength to strength both in his career and his charisma (for example movie star looks and musical talent), particularly after being approached by a famous agent Julian, and now is on the verge of his big break with a lead role in the eponymous “Here Again Now” a film set in New York and Nigeria where the female lead is reincarnated over multiple lives in Nigeria where she shapes that country’s destiny while also fighting police brutality in America.<br /><br /><blockquote> <i>‘I did some research for the part. The belief is that we get reincarnated into the same families over different generations. Old matriarchs become baby daughters again; great-grandfathers become sons. It’s not about karma and all that. Really, it’s about family. Staying close. Giving people second chances. I like that.’</i> </blockquote><br /><br />Okoro has recently been made redundant from his drama job and has moved in with Achike – and at the time of the book’s setting Achike has (on a trip back from filming) moved Chibuike (now a long term alcoholic) into the flat also. <br /><br />All three characters are forced to try to explore their feelings about each other and particularly the mental barriers that seem to have prevented them really expressing or acting out those feelings – and to reflect individually and together on the individual and shared pasts that have led to the erection of those barriers. This exploration and reflection becomes particularly focused for Okoro and Chibuike for who a devastating event causes them to need to explore both how they have been over many years with Achike (and how much or little they really understand of Achike’s own feelings and life) as well as trying to explore their own relationship which does not even have an accepted label such as friends, lovers or father-son (it is here that the Ruth links emerge I believe). <br /><br />The most distinctive element of the book is the writing style – which is extremely internally reflective with characters either in their thoughts (or as voiced by the narrator) examining their own thoughts and behaviour. Some examples and I think how one reacts to these (thoughtful or ponderous, heartfelt or pretentious) will largely determine one’s reaction to the book.<br /><br /><blockquote> <i>Only in a corner of Achike’s mind was there any pride in himself for being a part of a project he believed in, or for bringing his father’s culture to the world; only dimly did he understand that his work on this film was a profound act of love, and that through his work he was joining a lineage of storytellers that reached back through generations, from one life to another, stretching back endlessly through time. Achike could present himself on screen as firm, bold, persistent, capable, but he was always little to himself, barely a man, only a little man. He hardly knew that he was connected to something infinite and strong.<br /><br />Ekene .. knows Chibuike now. Chibuike acts gruffly, but this is the way with men. Ekene is still young – only seventeen – but he is learning. This is the way with fathers: they have tough exteriors, only because the insides of them are unbearably tender, like flesh under fingernails. Men are like this. But Ekene has never seen his father this tender. The tender parts of his father are scant, and they are bounded off and kept for women, other women, always new women. His father guards his heart’s good things watchfully with bright eyes, flaming swords. Obiajulu was never meant for children.<br /><br />Does Ekene miss his father? He does not know what to say. He examines himself closely, but his feelings will not speak to him. His emotions confer amongst themselves: they are noisy and unclear. There is joy there, he knows, and relief, and a feeling of betrayal. But there are also things he does not know, and cannot read. He resents his father deeply. Ekene feels somehow suffocated by the man’s absence: he knows without knowing that he will never be able to be a child as long as his father refuses to be a man. And always there is something else. Underneath the word ‘miss’ still moves some wild, insubordinate thing that this language can never hold, some monster ready to rise up and usher in a world he cannot comprehend. There is a longing for something in the shape of a father, and for his father to take that shape. But he has never known his father to be this type of man, and therefore cannot miss him. And yet, he does.</i> </blockquote><br /><br />As befits a book which both examines how masculine relations are shaped over generations and has a film about reincarnation playing a crucial part – there are many very deliberately recurring phrases. <br /><br />Some of these are concepts: for example the idea of a positive uniqueness of individuals (<i>“there is nobody in the world like this man”</i>) and a negative uniqueness of challenges faced as seen by the protagonists caught up in the individuality of what they are trying to work out (nobody we are often told has ever done this); others are rhetorical questions – in particular <i>“Could there be more than distance and sex between men”</i> and the general idea of physical and emotional distance between men is hugely important; others are more complex – for example one of the passages above is later echoed in a crucial episode in Chibiuke’s own childhood when he realises his stepfather is gay (an incident which ultimately overshadows all three protagonists lives)<br /><br /><blockquote> <i>The language of sin arises first in his mind, but its word will not fit; the act will not submit to the word. Gay. It corresponds to what he saw but underneath the word still moves some wild, insubordinate thing that this language can never hold, some monster ready to rise up and usher in a world he cannot comprehend.</i> </blockquote><br /><br />Similarly a medical <i>“monster waiting in the dark ocean of his body, ready to rise up and bring about the end of his little world”</i> is later in the book echoed (or perhaps more accurately foreshadowed) when Ekene struggles with the concept of love (in the crucial Berlin night) and we are told <i>“Until now, Ekene never knew hos his horror of being loved was waiting underneath his skin, a monster waiting in the dark ocean of his body, ready to rise up and bring about the end of his little world”</i><br /> <br />Some of the imagery is I think particularly strong, I liked <i>“Terrified that the avalanche of grief will crush her boy as it threatens to crush her, she reaches out a hand and tries to pull out a man. But what emerges is an older child: not grown but elongated.”</i> and (in a book which examines religion in a mature way with characters from a Christian tradition which they struggle to relate to their own experience and beliefs but which stays as a cultural underpinning) I loved this description of the type of Carol that Achike favoured <i>“Chibuike and Ndidi had spent long Christmas Eves listening to him sing carols whose tunes seemed rather to dread the approach of Christ than to celebrate it. Music that crawled through broken glass towards salvation.”</i><br /><br />Overall I thought this was a memorable, moving and deeply affecting book which shows great literary promise. <br /><br />My thanks to Little, Brown for an ARC via NetGalley

<i>Here Again Now’s</i> the second outing for award-winning, Manchester author Okechukwu Nzelu. Inspired by the biblical “Book of Ruth” Nzelu sets out to probe issues of faith, queerness, Black British community and family, as well as traditional Igbo beliefs in reincarnation. His story's essentially a character-based piece focused on three men, Ekene, Achike and Achike’s father Chibuike. Ekene and Achike have an intimate but undefined relationship, friends and on-and-off lovers since their teens, they are unable or unwilling to fully articulate the nature of their bond. After a bad break-up, Ekene moves into Achike’s Peckham apartment, bought from the proceeds of his burgeoning acting career, but their tentative moves towards each other are disrupted by the arrival of Chibuike, who’s a lonely, embittered alcoholic. Nzelu’s themes are appealing but I could never fully connect with his style or his handling of his material. Despite a momentous plot twist midway through the novel, this felt very flat and often overwritten. Developments that should have signalled major emotional highs and lows were oddly muted and unconvincing. I liked aspects of Nzelu’s portrayal of masculinity, and I was interested in the ways in which the characters’ ties to Nigerian culture had shaped, and continued to shape, their sense of self and their ways of dealing with the world. But, although Nzelu moves between England, Nigeria and Berlin, there’s no real impression of place here, and I was frustrated by the slow-moving plot and the stagey, dialogue-heavy exposition. A promising piece with an original premise but it never really took off for me. <br /><br />Thanks to Netgalley and publisher Dialogue Books for an ARC<br /><br />Rating: 2.5 

❀ <a href="https://wishfullyreading.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow noopener">blog</a> ❀ <a href="https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/luce_wishfullyreading" rel="nofollow noopener">thestorygraph</a> ❀ <a href="https://letterboxd.com/Wishfully/" rel="nofollow noopener">letterboxd</a> ❀ <a href="https://tragedies-and-dreams.tumblr.com" rel="nofollow noopener"> tumblr</a> ❀ <a href="https://ko-fi.com/wishfullyreading" rel="nofollow noopener">ko-fi</a> ❀ <br /><br />The first few pages of <i>Here Again Now</i> brought to mind the opening scene from my much beloved <i>A Little Life</i> so, naturally, I cranked up my expectations. As I kept on reading however my initial excitement over the story incrementally decreased to the point that I no longer looked forward to picking it up. This is by no means a bad novel but it certainly bore the signs of an ‘unseasoned’ writer. The prose was weighed down by repetition and overdone metaphors. Some of the dialogues struck me as odd, unconvincing, and I found that the narrative relied too much on rhetorical questions. Additionally, sections of the text consisted of a barrage of ‘what if x’ or ‘why is y’ or ‘how is xy’ questions that were really unnecessary. At one point there is a whole paragraph that just consists of these very, dare I write, basic questions that were far less effective than actually discussing the subject matter at hand (rather than circling around it).<br /><br />The novel follows three characters, with very few if any secondary characters. This does lend a certain intimacy to the narration and the drama unfolding between these three characters. After his acting career takes off Achike Okoro acquires a swanky flat in Peckham. Staying with him is Ekene, his best friend of twenty years. Despite their different temperaments and careers, the two share a very close bond. Both have had less than ideal upbringings and they found solace in one another. It is hinted that the two had a ‘moment’ in Berlin and back in their twenties. Achike has proclaimed his love for Ekene but the latter seems reluctant to take their relationship down that path. While Achike is presented as this patient sort of figure, he does seem to have grown restless and feels slightly bitter about Ekene always choosing someone over him. When Chibuike, Achike’s father, who is in the process of recovering from his alcohol addiction, moves in with them, tensions rise. <br />There is the very long opening scene, in which we learn all of this, that takes place over the course of a day (possibly two?) and ends around the 30% mark. In between, we get some flashbacks that take us to Achike and Ekene’s early days as friends and Chibuike’s own childhood. The narrative explores the bonds between father &amp; sons and friends &amp; lovers as well as provides some thought-provoking conversation on masculinity, queerness, and Blackness. After a certain event, the story changes track so that in addition to these themes the narrative touches upon grief, guilt, and forgiveness.<br />I wanted to love this, I really did, but I found the writing to be a bit too…Ocean Vuong-esque for my liking? Eg. “Maybe fathers could explain sons?”<br />The first half of the novel is bogged down by this ‘will they won’t they’ storyline that seems to take priority over characterization. Because I didn’t really feel as if I knew these characters I was not particularly invested in their friendship/romance. The father/son dynamics occurring within this novel also struck me as corny. There were instances where I felt that I was reading the script for a soap opera or something. There were lines describing how beautiful the characters are, which at times went on too long or were a bit too much. But I digress. This was not a terribly written novel. At times the writing was a bit clumsy, and in other instances, lyrical passages or observations give way to purple metaphors. The three major characters were at times too fixed in their role and I'm always fond of tragic events being used as plot devices or to 'help' other characters 'grow'. There were a couple of scenes that I found well-executed but there were far too many instances where I wasn't sure where the characters were or if this scene was taking place on the same day as the previous one, etc. etc. While I would not call myself a fan of this I am grateful to the publisher for having sent me an arc and I urge prospective readers to check out more positive reviews. out

This book is amazing and beautiful and heartbreaking and I loved it and I cried twice

This was so good! I felt for all of these men. As imperfect as they were, I really wanted happiness for them ​?​.

Thanks to NetGalley and The Publisher for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.<br /><br />I have a feeling this just might be my best read of 2022! A powerful and memorable book about masculine identity and relationships. Devastating, emotional and gut-wrenching, but all in the best way possible. My words are not eloquent enough to describe the beauty and brilliance of this book.

Achike is a young actor who's career just seems to take off. He is living with his friend of 20 years Eneke and recently his father, Chibuike has moved in with them. A devastating event rips all three of them apart and Eneke and Chibuike find themselves having to start over.<br /><br />While this is a great story about friends, love, father's and sons, grief and trauma I could just not get on with the writing itself.<br />With Achike, Eneke and Chibuike being the main <br />and nearly only characters you feel a certain intimacy towards the characters, although I felt I could just not relate to them. At points the repetitiveness especially of names got me confused and just threw me off. I know it's a writing style but it just does not work for me. I also sometimes felt it was just not well balanced between sometimes very long odd dialogues (that overall made me think it would be better off as a play) and the very lengthy descriptions.<br /><br />Lastly I want to add that I really wanted to love this and I think if the writing style works for you you absolutely will. It just did not work for me and after 30% into the book I really had to force myself to finish it.

Ok so… This book… broke my heart and tried to put it back together is the best way I can describe my reading experience! But honestly wow what a gem of a novel!<br /><br />This book is about grief and regrets, but it also deeply explores the tricky way parenting we experience influences how we love as an adult, and the complex nature of son-father relationships. I liked that it deals with themes of musculinity ans LGBTQ. But at the end of the day, this book is really sad because of unspoken love between the main three characters. So much they wanted to say but could never say. My heart ached from the start to finish honestly.<br /><br />Nzeln’s poignant, lyrical prose is soft but quietly powerful. The narrative and characters are so well-developed and executed. The whole thing was so effective in breaking my heart and healing it too!<br /><br />There are only three characters with very limited settings (pretty much just Achike’s flat and hospital), so I can totally see this book turn into a small theatre play. It just has that sort of intimate and introspective quality. One of the easiest five stars I’ve given this year. Highly recommend it!

A story of love and friendship between two men and their families, especially the father-son relationship. I loved the honesty and the real, flawed characters struggling to belong in two cultures and make good choices. It was a little slow for me but I appreciated his sensitive handling of fragile material and emotions. An intimate fly-on-the-wall experience rather than a plot-driven story.

Truly a remarkable book. Highly Recommend !