Lost Boy

When I was in 9th grade a new kid, Brent Jeffs, showed up at my school: Albion Middle. No one knew where he came from, but I heard something about him having multiple moms at home. I recall reading in the newspaper about Rulon Jeffs, the FLDS prophet, and at school, I asked Brent if he was related. “He’s my grandpa,” Brent replied.<br /><br />I didn't see Brent any more after 9th grade. He didn’t attend my High School, and I wondered whatever happened to him.<br /><br />In this book, I found out. <br /><br />Brent recalls his life growing up in an FLDS family in the Utah Suburbs. He recalls it with warmth and clarity, but also with confusion and with trauma. As it turns out, his uncle Warren Jeffs—who was put on the FBI 10 most wanted list in part because of Brent’s testimony—was not only an authoritarian power-drunk control freak taking God’s name in vain, but was also a serial child rapist. And Brent and his brothers (and doubtless countless others) were his victims.<br /><br />I remember Brent telling us classmates that his family got kicked out of the church because they failed to disavow their wayward older brother. In this book, I learned much more of this brother's tragic story, starting with the abuse at the hands of Warren, and devolving into a life of rebellion, heavy drug use, drug dealer drama, and eventual suicide.<br /><br />It's an infuriating yet eye-opening story, and I'm really glad Brent rebounded as successfully as one could hope for given the circumstances. Apparently, after 9th grade, he had a falling out with his parents and went to go live with his outcast brothers. Hence his absence throughout high school.<br /><br />Although horrifying, this is an important story about the resilience of the human spirit, and also a stern warning and cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked religious authoritarianism, fundamentalism, and fanaticism.

After reading Krakaur's "Under the Banner of Heaven" I was fascinated by the mormon religion and its ability to constantly adapt through its "Prophet" who can change any aspect of the religion, at any time, through divine revelation and reinterpretations of religious texts. When the Prophet rescinded polygamy, the FLDS splintered from the main church and continued to believe that polygamy was necessary to reach the highest levels of heaven.<br /><br />This book is the biography of a man who grew up within a polygamous family in the FLDS church. He describes how completely the FLDS church controls is members mentally, sexually, and financially. He describes Warren Jeffs' (his uncle) rise to power to become the FLDS Prophet, and the sexual abuse his uncle inflicted upon him as a child. His uncle was adept at driving boys out of the church to leave plenty of women available so that favored (meaning obedient) male church members could have multiple wives. Life outside the church was extremely difficult for the author and his fellow "lost boys" (not to be confused with the Sudanese boys of the same name). They had been led to believe that all outsiders were evil, and they were unprepared to make even simple choices for themselves as all aspects of their lives were previously controlled by the church and/or their fathers.<br /><br />This book is a fascinating look at the relationship between power and belief.

Raised in a polygamous FLDS household, one of the dozens of grandchildren of the FLDS prophet, son of a man who didn't always see eye to eye with his powerful father, sexually abused as a child by one of the sons of the prophet, Brent Jeffs came to understand that it wasn't going to be his destiny to be one of the few FLDS men who married multiple wives and wielded great power in the sect. Instead, he became a "lost boy," one of the expendable young males the sect didn't care about, and threw away. Left to fend for themselves, and cut off from their families, many of these lost boys descend into lives of drug addiction, despair and poverty. Some even succumb to suicide. <br /><br />Lost Boy is Brent Jeffs' story of what it means to be an FLDS lost boy. It's both typical and unique. Although much of what Jeffs experienced seems to be somewhat typical of young males forced to leave the sect, in other respects, Jeffs was unusual. He was born into a powerful family in the sect, but his father was something of a rebel, bringing the family into conflict with church leadership. Because of this, Jeffs had unique insight into the personalities and dynamics of that leadership.<br /><br />Jeffs begins his book with a telling and poignant comment: "Every child believes he's special. But when you are number ten of twenty, with three "sister-mothers" -- two of whom are full-blooded sisters -- and a grandfather whom thousands of people believe speaks directly to God, it can be hard to figure out what "special" really means." Jeffs develops those thoughts throughout Lost Boy -- the specialness of being part of a big family, the stresses of living in a house with a father with plural wives, the emotional hold of strong religious beliefs, the fear, even terror, caused by breaking away, the difficulty of attempting to come to terms with and healing abuse. <br /><br />Lost Boy is an interesting male counterpoint to the many female FLDS memoirs, and shows that although the sect is very male dominating, it can be just as difficult being a male in the FLDS as being a female. An interesting and sad tale.

Crap. I forgot to write the review when I was finished this. Those who know me well know my memory. All I can say is this is worth reading. It's a good book, tells a lot about the community where <a href="https://goodreads.com/author/show/2867694.Brent_W__Jeffs" title="Brent W. Jeffs" rel="noopener">Brent W. Jeffs</a> grew up. I'd recommend reading it in addition to some other memoirs, authors like <a href="https://goodreads.com/author/show/427437.Carolyn_Jessop" title="Carolyn Jessop" rel="noopener">Carolyn Jessop</a>, <a href="https://goodreads.com/author/show/1169791.Elissa_Wall" title="Elissa Wall" rel="noopener">Elissa Wall</a>, etc. <br />What Warren Jeffs did to Brent is atrocious and the fact that this man lived through all of it, and what came afterward as a direct effect of Jeffs' actions towards Brent's family is amazing. <br />It's really, really, really, (throw a few more in if you'd like) hard for me to imagine how people buy this crap. I believe in God while not being "crazy" about it. I don't believe my God is more important than anyone else's, nor do I believe my God is the only God. Who am I to say that? That's not faith. That's a joke. <br />But to believe that one man is the mouthpiece for God? Come the hell on. Here, give ME all of your money, your houses, your kids, and everything else and I'll tell you one day, all of a sudden, that red is reserved for God and no one else can have anything red too. Come on, gimme da loot! (RIP Biggie)<br />I mean, seriously, how does one believe this? I've read (and rated highly) the memoirs but I'm not getting it. These people are so needy that they're allowing their children to be shunned, abused, and murdered. Is that faith? If it is I don't want it. You can have it.

Brent Jeffs was born into the FLDS, the polygamous Mormon sect. His father had three wives and numerous children. Warren Jeffs, who later became the “prophet” after his father (and Brent's grandfather) died, is Brent's uncle. Brent and many of his older brothers left the FLDS, and their parents were also excommunicated. This is Brent's story. <br /><br />I've read a few autobiographies of former FLDS members, so I suppose there wasn't too much shocking to me in this one. What was different about this one (for me), though, was that it was from a male point of view. Many of the boys who leave or are kicked out of the FLDS for some reason or other end up having a hard time outside their culture and often turn to drugs, etc. So, for me, this was a different viewpoint on a topic I've read a bit about already. Easy to read and still very interesting.

I have to admit I have a bit of a morbid fascination about FLDS. I've mostly thought about it from a woman's point of view (see <a href="https://goodreads.com/book/show/818811.Escape" title="Escape by Carolyn Jessop" rel="noopener">Escape</a> by <a href="https://goodreads.com/author/show/427437.Carolyn_Jessop" title="Carolyn Jessop" rel="noopener">Carolyn Jessop</a> for some insight). When I saw this book on the Goodreads Giveaway list, I entered the contest right away. I was eager for a opportunity to read about the group from a male perspective. <br /><br />Most of Lost boy is a fast-paced engaging read. The author Brent Jeffs surely owes a lot to his collaborator, Maia Szalavitz in describing life with his family in a way that seems realistic. The later parts dealing with life as a lost boy and recovered memory are a little choppy but I suspect that part is done in a choppier fashion to convey how that part of his life felt. <br /><br />This book covers the story of Brent Jeffs growing up smack in the middle of a family of consisting of one husband, 3 wives and 20 children and also the broader issue of FLDS Lost Boys. A church which requires a man to have at least 3 wives in order to enter the best heaven needs to develop a way of maintaining a sex mix which leans heavy on the female side. Not a lot of women convert so there needs to be a way of getting rid of excess males. <br /><br />A lot of Brent Jeff's personal trials center around abuse by church prophet Warren Jeffs. This is the the center theme of the book. I wish there had been a little more about the stories of other boys who were thrown from their homes as teenagers and what is being done for them now. Clearly Brent and his brothers had very difficult teen years. I wanted to book to go on for another chapter or two to tell more about the charities who are dealing with the continuing lost boys of the FLDS.<br />Still this book give good insight into this long standing cult-like religion.

I have read many of books focusing on polygamy and the FLDS. Ridiculous situations I can barely fathom interest me, and this is no exception! I thought when I began this book that it was going to be another well written story about the FLDS cult, and it was, but it was so much more! I truly felt that I received a first person account of what it was like to live in the compound under Warren Jeffs and be subjected to, basically, mind control. Brent Jeffs also happens to be the nephew of Warren Jeffs and grandson to the previous prophet, Warren's father, Rulon.<br /><br />Brent Jeffs grew up in a family of about 20 kids and three moms, two of which were feuding sisters (his mom was one of these). At first, before Warren Jeffs became prophet, things seemed relatively normal on the compound. Kids could be kids and play, adults had more choices. But when Warren took over, he took away pretty much every piece of slight independence anyone had. No toys allowed, no books allowed (unless it was the Bible or Book of Mormon or Warren's own rambling teachings), no TV allowed, nothing red, he even banned SMILING. I am not joking.<br /><br /><br />When Brent was five, he was raped by Warren Jeffs around ten times, his brothers had already endured similar fates, unbeknownst to Brent. This really shapes his future, not just his abuse, but the abuse of his family and really, entire community. This book shows how deep people can be into these cults - so deep that they literally take whatever they are told at face value, and do it. Give up their wives and children, their homes, their jobs - anything for the corrupt "prophet." It's gross and unfathomable - but that is why I like it.

<i>This is my first review of a nonfiction title. I am attempting to provide you with nothing more than a few thoughts and my experience during my time with this book. Please be warned that this book does include sensitive material such as sexual abuse.</i><br /><br />Until recently, it was a very rare occasion that any autobiography or memoir would capture my attention, let alone make an appearance on the blog. But I am a mood reader, and my mood has been changing. I find myself desiring to know more. Often my chosen topics are those that many might not understand. Although I do know that you are out there. It just doesn’t always go over as well to discuss darker subjects during a lunch date or at your kid’s ball practice.<br /><br />I openly admit to harboring a strong fascination with cults and religious based followings of unhealthy nature. FLDS and polygamy have been a subject of intrigue for many years, largely due in part to my continuing interest in the human psych. The unyielding followers and devotion found within FLDS arguably and easily fall within the classifications and realm of cult behavior. Also as a woman and mother, I find myself personally challenging to the concept of polygamy with many unanswered “why’s” and “how’s”. So after a recent documentary that shared a portion of Brent’s story and a look at the FLDS leader and so-called “Prophet” Warren Jeffs, picking this book up made complete sense. I feel no need to provide a recap, as the synopsis is sufficient and thorough.<br /><br />I do want to specify at this point that I am not comparing FLDS (The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) to LDS who have since disowned many of the practices that are still found within FLDS, such as polygamy. I understand that there is a difference and do not pretend to be an expert in either, nor is this review an attempt to pass judgement on anyone’s religion. With that said, here are my thoughts on the book itself:<br /><br /><i>Lost Boy</i> is an autobiography of one young man’s life inside and outside of FLDS. It lifts the veil, revealing insight into a world that is hard to grasp and understand. It is a story of manipulation, fear, abuse, loss and survival. It is not an easy read at the best of times, but it is a worthy read.<br /><br />I found myself in deep appreciation of how much history and back story is actually contained within this book. It was not what I expected, but a welcomed surprise. We are presented with more than a sad and harrowing tale. We are given the working knowledge to understand why our author’s life was so hard and how it came to be for him and so many others. Instead of simply explaining that there was abuse and mistreatment, he shows the reader how it was all possible. We are provided a glimpse into the life of FLDS members that enables us to piece together the true manipulation that is occurring and how such a following began. We learn how fear and religion have been twisted and used against those who were so devoted. We learn how one man, Warren Jeffs, still manages a tenacious and detrimental hold on so many lives even now from prison.<br /><br />The are many triggers in this book, as Brent makes a conscious effort to be open and forthright. As I mentioned, this not a gentle read. It is every bit candid as it is personal. A childhood of abuse is brought forth, but not without also honestly mentioning the times that there was still happiness. He acknowledges that amidst the chaos there was love and a sense of belonging. There is a simple and raw honesty that enables the reader to not only see but understand. My heart mourned as he described how difficult it was to separate from something so harmful because he knew nothing else. He was so integrated that the prospect of life outside the Church had become terrifying and isolating. He bravely exposes his own harsh reality and struggles that include drug use and bad decisions. There is no saving face. Simply what was and is. This is a story of real life within the FLDS and the ramifications.<br /><br />I admire Brent’s decision to not only share his personal experience, but the reality of what it was/is to be raised FLDS. The choice to expose and address the years of brainwashing and abuse could not have come easily nor without cost. <i>Lost Boy</i> challenges us to look beyond our own comfort and see from the other side of the curtain. I recommend this to anyone who desires to learn and gain more knowledge of cults within a religious settings and the effects of them on youth, families and the society that those who manage to escape must reenter.

Wow! This novel is an all-consuming experience. Brent Jeffs has such courage and strength for attending therapy to deal with his traumatic past, sharing his story, prosecuting the man of his nightmares, Warren Jeffs and for surviving life in the FLDS and now thriving in the 'outside world'. <br />A fascinating, fast-paced, disturbing read. I highly reccomend it to everyone. It is particularly interesting to hear the perspective of one of the young men from the FLDS as I find myself well-informed on this topic but knew very little about 'The Lost Boys' like Brent Jeffs.

"Ah sí, conozco tu iglesia. ¿No son los que practican la poligamia?"<br /><br />Como miembro activo de la Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Últimos Días, erróneamente llamados "mormones" son muchas las veces que tratando de explicar mis creencias es casi imposible zafarse de responder acerca de la poligamia, y es que sí, sabemos perfectamente que hace muchos años se permitía y practicaba, sin embargo, luego se prohibió. Como consecuencia de esto el movimiento se dividió, algunos miembros no estaban de acuerdo en dejar tal actividad y es así como nace la Iglesia Fundamentalista de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Últimos Días (IFJSUD).<br /><br />En este libro Brent Jeffs nos cuenta su historia siendo miembro de esta particular comunidad, además podemos conocer detalles acerca de su familia y sobre algunas creencias; es un poco tedioso leer sobre hombres que llegan a tener hasta 60 esposas, con un sinfín de hijos, muchas veces hermanos-primos-sobrinos entre ellos y ver esto como algo normal, porque una vez mas, eso es lo que se supone está bien. <br /><br />Particularmente, es admirable que Brent haya tenido la capacidad de juzgar las cosas y decidirse a salir de allí. Considero importante que las personas lo hagan, incluso el mas creyente debe ser capaz de pensar, razonar y decidir por sí mismo, y no por lo que un libro diga. <br /><br />Recomiendo este libro a quienes estén interesados en leer sobre el matrimonio plural y personas de mente abierta que recuerden que los <s>mormones</s> al menos los no fundamentalistas, no tenemos 5 mamás.