Memoirs Aren't Fairytales: A Story of Addiction

<b> 4 STARS</b><br><br><b> <i>”I love to chase the dragon.”</i> </b><br><br><span>[image error]</span><br><br>Thanks to my reading pal Donna for gifting me this heartbreakingly hopeless story of a young girl's fall into drugs over the course of several years. It was a very realistic and excruciatingly hard read.<br><br><img src="https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1492237006ra/22496130.gif" width="430" height="150" alt="description" class="gr-hostedUserImg" loading="lazy"><br><br>Nicole heads to Boston with her best friend Eric. They are excited to get away from their hometown of Bangor and want to try life on their own terms. Sadly they go from using weed to very heavy drug use. Nicole’s parents and brother continue to try and reach out but her lies and addiction help keep her high and her willingness to do anything for her next high finds her everywhere from living on the streets, selling her body and losing herself and some very important people in her life. <br><br><b> <i>”Now, heroin controlled my body. And since it had been violated, did it really have any value to me anymore? No. I could whore out all I wanted. I could screw ten guys for a hundred bucks. As long as dope was inside me, I didn’t care if a man was, too.”</i> </b><br><br><span>[image error]</span><br><br>The story ends on a slightly hopeful note but only after yet another tragic scene…SOB. <br><br><img src="https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1492237006ra/22496129.gif" width="430" height="150" alt="description" class="gr-hostedUserImg" loading="lazy"><br><br>This story was painful and the road ahead for Nicole in becoming clean and finding a healthy path after all that she’s experienced in this book is going to be even harder I fear. <br><br><b> <i>”My memoir is no damn fairytale. But my story isn’t over yet.”</i> </b><br><br><a href="https://goodreads.com/book/show/13267836.Memoirs_Aren_t_Fairytales_A_Story_of_Addiction__The_Memoir_Series___1_" title="Memoirs Aren't Fairytales A Story of Addiction (The Memoir Series, #1) by Marni Mann" rel="noopener"> <img src="https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1388352313s/13267836.jpg" alt="Memoirs Aren't Fairytales A Story of Addiction (The Memoir Series, #1) by Marni Mann" class="gr-hostedUserImg" loading="lazy"> </a> <a href="https://goodreads.com/book/show/15757273.Scars_from_a_Memoir__The_Memoir_Series___2_" title="Scars from a Memoir (The Memoir Series, #2) by Marni Mann" rel="noopener"> <img src="https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1342575518s/15757273.jpg" alt="Scars from a Memoir (The Memoir Series, #2) by Marni Mann" class="gr-hostedUserImg" loading="lazy"> </a>

Memoirs Aren't Fairytales. I'm almost at a loss for words before I begin.<br /><br />Heroin.<br /><br />Addiction.<br /><br />Darkness.<br /><br />Hope.<br /><br />I'll never think, or read these words again, without thinking about this book. If you can't tell, it touched me. Actually, that isn't fair. It did more than that. It imbedded itself on my soul. <br /><br />Maybe it's because I related to this book on a personal level, but I don't believe there is a person out there that could read this book, and not feel torn up inside. You don't need to have been an addict. You don't need to have known an addict. Mann tells such a compelling and heart-wrenching story, with such realism, you'll be sucked into a world you might never have known existed. <br /><br />When I started this story, I knew it was about addiction, but I didn't know what I was in for. I've had my experiences with this. I've seen what it does to people first hand. I never expected to relive it through the eyes of an addict. Memoirs Aren't Fairytales did that to me. I became Nicole. I tasted the freedom Boston had to offer. I forgot everyone else around me. And I became addicted.<br /><br />The storytelling is unparalleled. The characters are powerful, unique, and real. The pacing was spot on. The emotions tasted thick on the pages. I couldn't get enough. The suspense I felt with each passing word grew. I wanted Nicole to find hope. I needed her to. I felt what her family felt as they watched her fade into darkness, and it tore my heart and soul open.<br /><br />The writing was incredible. Mann's created such a powerful voice, and managed to make it come alive in a character we might otherwise think was hopeless. Even when you think there's no hope left, she's taken you so deeply into this world, you can't help but reach out for it, and hope Nicole will do the same. <br /><br />When I finished this book, there was such a storm of emotions moving through me, I didn't know what was what. It took me two days to pull myself together and get my head out of the story. Two days to bury even a hint of the emotions this book left swirling inside me. Now it's been weeks, and I'm still in awe, reeling from the turmoil it left behind. <br /><br />Nicole's voice is stuck in my head, and I was craving the next book before I turned the last page. Memoirs Aren't Fairytales is a must read. It'll take you on a ride like nothing else, and at the very least, leave you breathless.

Books are supposed to be fun, educative, make you dream about hero's and rainbows and glitter.<br />Certain books slap you hard till your teeth rattle and them squeeze hold your throat. THIS is that type of book !!<br />A pair of innocent high schoolers- Eric and Nicole drive away from their restrictive parents in New Hampshire to Freedom of Boston Massachussets. And why ?....so they don't have to study or have curfew time or be accountable or choose a path in life other than just bumming it out in front of the TV.<br />They smoke recreational Marijuana, and potheads that they are, they struggle to make ends meet in their "utopian" life in Boston. They slowly graduate to Shrooms and scorpion bowls, courtesy of Renee . Soon they're snorting cocaine. As life would have it, they don't realise the severity of their situation till one day Eric OD's and is dead. Nicole resorts to Panhandling, Whoring, boosting to support her habit till she gets hooked on Heroin and the spiral downwards is imminent and speedy. She loses people around her one by one.<br /><br /><b>I wasn’t the same person anymore. I’d stopped caring about everything and everyone. My beliefs— being a good person, treating people with respect, and standing on the right side of the law— had been thrown away when dope entered my life. I’d stolen from innocent people. I’d lied to my family . I’d sold my body.All I cared about was money and dope. I stole and whored out my body just to buy smack, and then I’d shoot up and have to whore it out again. There was nothing fun about being a junkie.I didn’t want to stop using smack. There wasn’t a reason for me to stop. I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t dying. People took painkillers and antidepressants, and instead, I did heroin . If I wanted to take a day off from dope, I could. I didn’t need help to do that.</b><br /><br />The ultimate price she pays is what jolts her back to her senses.<br /><br />I can't say what my thoughts are about this story. <br />Am I angry ? At whom- the parents who didn't come after their teenage daughter and took her back resorting to force, if need be ?<br />At Eric and Nicole? Who though coming from a loving, healthy environment , still sought after a unicorn of " freedom "?<br />Or at our current state where drugs are so readily available and youngsters smoke weed like "it's no big deal"?<br />I wanna beat them on their heads with this book <br />I wanna scream , shout, yell, curse, beat my chest ......but I'm just sat here crying my eyes out with sheer helplessness and frustration !. <br />Nicole's horizontal journey from NH to Boston is of a few hours and but her vertical downfall into this rabbit hole is of a few years and I keep wishing for a bump or jolt to retard it or stop it. But the NakedTruth is - she's gone !<br />Her friends are gone, Claire is gone, her baby is gone, her dignity is gone, her shame is gone, her self worth is gone, her health is gone, her brain is gone...now her brother is gone.<br />All that is left is the Dark resin crusted spoon , a syringe , a foil, cooking smack and the warmth travelling through her scabbed, boil infested, scarred, mauled, raped , toothless abscessed body. <br />I'm a Mom and this broke my heart . <br />So now the question of how many stars! It's beyond stars , it's beyond reviews, this book is a lesson, a slap on your face.<br />Sometimes people say they remember a moment exactly when it changed their life ,an epiphany , whether you're a parent or a child. Whoever is reading it- let .this. be. Your .moment !!<br />Wake up and open your eyes to this book, read it, spread it around, make your kids read it !<br />Oh the stars? - all there are in this universe ****************************<br />INFINITE STARS <br />#BookBistroBlogApproved<br />Follow us on<br />FB - <a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/BookBistroBlog">https://www.facebook.com/groups/BookB...</a><br />Blog -<a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="https://bookbistroblogcom.wordpress.com">https://bookbistroblogcom.wordpress.com</a><br />Blog -<a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="https://bookbistroblogger.blogspot.com">https://bookbistroblogger.blogspot.com</a><br />Twitter - <a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="https://www.twitter.com/BookBistro">https://www.twitter.com/BookBistro</a><br />Instagram - <a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="https://www.instagram.com/BookBistroBlog">https://www.instagram.com/BookBistroBlog</a>

<a href="http://s52.photobucket.com/user/hansencartel/media/DRUGGIE-1.png.html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener"> <img src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1386343978i/7343363.png" alt=" photo DRUGGIE-1.png" class="gr-hostedUserImg" loading="lazy"> </a><br><br>“But heroin was my air. It had a hold of me like we were chained together. And those shackles weren't just around my wrists, they were tied around my brain too.” -NICOLE<br><br><br>This has to be, by far, one of my favorite books of all time. And for those who know me, especially my crew here on Goodreads, you know I do not say that lightly. I read it a while ago, but it still creeps up into my mind all the time. It was face paced and I couldn't catch my breath the entire time. I'd never read anything like it. I felt like I was running along side Nicole as she made one drug-fueled bad decision after another. <br><br>It makes you FEEEEEEEL. Like a HUGE CASE of the FEEEEELS!!! And It's soooooooo DIFFERENT, which to me are the two requirements in a GREAT book. <br> <br>This book was one of the reasons I fell in love with dark fiction. I am so surprised that it hasn't gotten a ton more attention in recent months, because I fan girl over this book every single time someone brings it up and it is one of the first ones I always recommend to people when they ask me for a great book rec. <br><br>I totally FAN GIRLED all over Marni Mann after reading this and basically forced her to befriend me. <br><br>That's right folks...I friend raped her. <br><br>If you liked The Dark Light of Day then you will bust major reader nut over this one. <br><br>Warning: It's not a romance, so don't be expecting a billionaire to morph out of nowhere and save her, this is about her ability to save herself and shiz. <br><br>-T.M. Frazier<br>Author of The Dark Light of Day &amp; NINJA<br><br>FULL DISCLOSURE: We have the same publisher, but only because after reading this I weaseled my way in! HA! <br>

As a recovering addict, substance abuse therapist, and author of the addiction-based novel <a href="https://goodreads.com/book/show/12694419.Stray" title="Stray by Mark Matthews" rel="noopener">Stray</a>, I looked at this novel through a unique lense. <br /><br />So many addiction stories are either trite, cliche, or oozing with melo-drama. This novel had none of that, and comes highly recommended by this reader.<br /><br />The main character Nicole is a realistic portrayal of how a recreational drug-user slowly slips deep into heroin addiction. And she gets to enjoy all the lovely side-dishes served with living a life dedicated to getting and staying high, and not getting sick. <br /><br />The group of characters and circumstances Nicole encounters may all be fiction, but they are happening as described in real life. Probably within a few football fields from where you are reading this review. I've met a ton of addicts in my time, and the story represents them well.<br /><br />The portrayal of the mind of an addict is what I think is the highlight of the novel. The way Nicole rationalizes, or more often, dismisses the effects of drug use, but stays focused on 'shooting moves' and getting by is potrayed brilliantly. The novel did run on at times, but I believe this is needed to truly follow an addicts path.<br /><br />Treatment center romance and hospital trips and family scams and everyday wondering how to get by and stay high. The novel accurately described all of this in an engaging manner, and with a true human face to Nicole, so that we realize we are dealing with a girl who had the same dreams all of use do.<br /><br />Great story.<br />

A poignant story of addiction. I couldn't turn the pages fast enough, nothing good comes out of losing your soul, yet I couldn't look away. <br /><br /><b> <i>"Everyone in my life had split, and I was in the middle, standing still. But I didn’t need anyone, and I wasn’t lonely. Smack was my dream-maker. It was my constant. It was my true love."</i> </b><br /><br />This story gutted me. I knew going in it was going to be tough to get through. Anyone who's ever seen the aftermath of drugs, the damage, will relate to this story. I definitely recommend to readers who can't or don't understand the hold addiction has on it's user. The author takes you on a journey of tragedy, loss, and the effects of nothingness. Sensitive readers beware. Rape/Descriptive Drug Use/Extreme Loss<br /><br />I'm not going to give you the story play by play, well, because you need to see for yourself. This book shows the fall, the claws, the drowning of one's soul. It takes one time, one time, and you are forever in debt to your need. I can't tell you how much this book resonates with me, it did, it does. I was holding on to my kindle with a grip like I was addicted. I applaud the author for digging deep to deliver such a powerful message. If you want a look into the decaying of one's worth, the devil that kills your soul, the reasons why drug addicts continue to use. You need to read this story. It's far from pretty, you will not get your happy ending, but the truth about addiction.

Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales: A Story of Addiction (The Memoir #1)<br />Scars from a Memoir (The Memoirs #2) by Marni Mann<br />5 stars!!!!<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“Am I a runaway train, or am I the track?”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />This was a duet that I needed to review straightaway, I just feel that if I get my thoughts and emotions down while I am still coming to terms with what I have just read it will have more of an emotional impact. These books seriously touched me, having never been around drugs or even having an inclination to try any I have never fully understood the novelty or the pull that these chemicals have on the addicts that so easily become consumed by them. But the thing about these two books is that it not only draws attention to the addict, but also the effects that addiction has on family, friends and strangers. This is definitely no fairy tale, this is the story of a woman’s desperate decline into the pits of hell and I lived and breathed it, warts and all.<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“I was chasing something. And damn it felt so fucking good.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />What starts out as the recreational use of weed soon turns into other more “heavy” drugs, like coke and ultimately heroin. What initially is perceived as a “pick me up” soon becomes a dependency and so the spiral begins. But what I loved about this book is that you were inside the head of Nicole, what Marni Mann delivered was an addicts reasoning’s and thought processes and for someone like me who was totally oblivious to anything surrounding this lifestyle it gave me an insight into why people tragically descend down this route. While I don’t condone in any shape or form what Nicole did, I finally appreciated the effects that drugs have on your ability to think straight, to make rational decisions and to actually see what was presented in front of the mirror. An addict didn’t see an addict. An addict only saw their next high, that short burst of relief from the troubles they carried. A temporary blindfold on their misery all the while it only being a smokescreen for the ingrained issues they had and ultimately, only making those issues increase tenfold by adding more issues on top of issues that were already there. <br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“Today I was sober, but tomorrow wasn’t here yet.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />Drug addiction is like a vortex, a force so powerful that you are forever caught up in its vicious cycle, a vortex that is desperately difficult to break out of. But the first step is recognising the addiction and more often than not it takes hitting rock bottom to see it. Some people get that rock bottom, others die before they get there, but it takes incredible strength and courage to fight and the fight is never over, this is made painfully clear throughout this duet.<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“But heroin was my air. It had a hold of me like we were chained together. And those shackles weren’t just around my wrists, they were tied around my brain too.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />Nicole aka Cole, was a girl that had a great life ahead of her, she was a fantastic student, had a loving family and was living the teenage dream, until one night...one night that forever changed her and one night that ultimately led to her decline down the darkest routes of addiction. It is this one event that ultimately decimated her life and that of her family. Nicole was a victim, but the effects of that one night made her a victim for the next ten years. That one night made her friends and family victims in more ways than one. Her relocation to Boston was supposed to be a new start, a way to exorcise her demons, but Boston had demons of its own, only these demons had far more destructive consequences. This is the harrowing story of Nicole and I defy anyone not to be touched and totally consumed by her story.<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“I could make up a story to cover the last eight years, but the scars on my arms told the truth. So did my ankles, the skin between my toes, even the veins that had burst on my breasts. I was like that board my dad used to tack papers to in his office. Eventually, the cork fell apart because it had too many holes, and my Dad got a new one. Did my battle wounds really prove I was a survivor? Or was I too damaged to be glued back together?”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />Nicole’s voice rang true, Marni Mann brought Nicole to life and I was soon consumed by her distressing, disturbing and horrifying experiences at the hands of heroin. A drug so powerful and all-consuming that life became a trick to get that next trip. The degrading situations she finds herself in are just one of the side effects together with demeaning herself daily just to get what she always perceived she needed more than food, clothes on her back and a roof over her head. The lengths to which friends and family will go to, to help, and then their desperate and heart breaking realisation that tough love is the only love. I can’t explain how touching and heart breaking this story was. I cried a river, not only for Nicole, but her brother, her mum and dad and her friends.<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“It’s not a mess, Cole. It’s a beautiful mess.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />Every possible emotion is evoked painfully word by word, situation by situation as Marni Mann viscerally portrays life as an addict. Even though I have no experience, I felt as if I was living in the drug havens of Boston. Every character was so real, I could see them, I could hear them and I could smell them. I was totally transported to the pits of hell and for someone as naïve as me it was a world that I never knew existed. It was eye opening, so realistic.<br /><br />Nicole does hit rock bottom and she is one of the ones that are lucky enough to survive the fall, but the climb back out is equally as painful. Book two concentrates on that climb, the pitfalls and the past that never leaves you alone. The consequences, both physical and mental and the after affects and devastation that addiction leaves behind. Nicole does find love, so there is an uplifting element, but a love that will always have the past in the background, a love filled with understanding and protective measures to avoid relapse. Nothing about this duet is pretty, it is raw, it is gritty it is so realistic. It just hurt so bad. I understand there is a YA version of this duet, I implore all parents to make their kids read it, it is enough to put them off for life. If one life is saved, then the research and experiences that this author penned onto paper would be worth it. <br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“I’ll always be a recovering heroin addict, but heroin no longer owns me.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />These two books now complete my Marni Mann collection; I can now say I have read all her books. These two books were her first and as a debut I cannot relay how impressive and how well put together this duet was. The attention to details, the realism and the no holds barred ugliness really cements this as an unforgettable story.<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“My memoir is no damn fairytale. But my story isn’t over yet.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br />I am still distraught, I thought this review would be cathartic, but that pain shows no sign of abating. This story moved me, it touched me on so many levels, I will never forget Nicole, and when my kids are old enough to understand they will be reading this series too. I am so emotional right now.<br /><br /><b> <i> <blockquote>“Good-bye, Boston.”</blockquote> </i> </b><br /><br /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="http://www.theromancecover.com">www.theromancecover.com</a>

Well, I did it...I popped my Marni Mann Cherry with this wonderfully written book about addiction and the price you pay for it, when constantly searching for that feeling you experienced with your first hit. <br /><br />Eric and Nicole friends since Kindergarten have decided to move from the looser town they have grown up in, to become bigger and better than anyone who ever stays in their little town... Boston it is. <br /><br />This story is a very emotional ride that will totally make you understand the battles that people are going through every single day with some form of addiction and how they will 'score' their next fix. <br /><br />I could not turn the pages fast enough to finish this one! It is not a romance book, there is no love at first site and there isnt a romantic wedding at the end with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. The book is a raw and intense read that certainly makes you think twice about judging someone who is facing an addiction! <br /><br />Off to read book 2 now!!!

Book 1: 4 stars<br /><br />Review of duet: <a target="_blank" rel="noopener nofollow" href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3065240333?book_show_action=false">https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...</a>

Author Marni Mann has written the literary equivalent of a scab that won’t ever heal, and I mean that in the nicest, most complimentary way. The scab is the gritty - and very real - story of Nicole Brown, a young woman out of college and looking for escape in Boston. This ugly blemish doesn’t necessarily stare back at us from the start, but you’re cautiously aware of the choices that will ultimately transform Nicole into who she becomes: a desperate junkie; a young woman who is prone to picking scabs instead of letting wounds fully recover. <br /><br />In Marni’s story of sorrow, pain and increasingly bad decisions, we keep telling ourselves that the scab either will fall off or be ripped off in the most gruesome of means, and in such, we keep reassuring ourselves that the fresh, clean, pink, healthy skin is waiting on the other side. We just wonder early on how bad the scar is going to look at the end. Because Nicole is an addictive personality and is, unfortunately, much more relatable than most of us would like to admit, we quickly start to know that the scar, in the end, isn’t going to be pretty. Her actions, denial and choices may not reflect our own thought processes at times, but we most likely know someone who would fit her selfish and callous personality when dealing with an addiction of any form. Obviously, when you are toying with some of the harshest of drugs, those actions and choices are viewed through a film of dependence and irrationality abides. <br /><br />Throughout, we keep asking ourselves, ‘how much worse is it going to get? How bad is it going to be?’ But, just like with all addicts, they want to blame everyone else but themselves – the adage of three fingers pointing back at the pointer thrives in the bloodstream of her tale. In the end, this is a story about self-abuse and the long-term effects such actions take not only on the person involved, but their friends and family, as well. To say it is a cautionary tale would be an understatement. For this novel not to resonate with you would be foolish. To say that this is Marni Mann’s debut novel is, without question, heartbreaking. Bravo. <br />