What the Heart Remembers Most

<i> <b> “ The heart remembered so much more than the brain ever could. The heart remembered love.” </b> </i><br /><br />This book was <u>Talented, Brilliant, Incredible, Amazing, Showstopping, Spectacular, Never The Same, Totally Unique, Completely Not Ever Been Done Before..</u><br />I have never cried this much over a book that didn't involve homophobia or someone dying. This had my heart in a chokehold from start to finish. Jax and Gretchen's story was extremely emotional, soulmatey, complex and really sad. I am in love with their love. I am going to be feeling the effect of the numerous emotional whiplashes for a while.<br /><br />Jax and Gretchen were in the process of getting a divorce then due to a terrible accident Gretchen lost her memories of the last four years and to her, she and Jax are happily married. I know Jax and Gretchen both had their faults but still it didn't feel like that to me. Jax could be so stubborn. The way the first timeline ended, I wanted to jump in there and knock some sense into Jax for doing what she did. Then BAM! same thing but now from Jax's POV except of course it's not the same thing at all. This was a very unusual love story and a bloody a masterpiece.

IT WORKED FOR ME! <br /><br />I had to start off with this sentence because reading the reviews and discussing with friends who are reading this as we speak, I realized that there's a twist in the book that will either work for you or it wont! Thankfully it worked for me :)<br /><br />So M. Ullrich is a good writer and I like her books because they are so different. She's one of those authors where it's rare that you would say "oh this is typical M. Ullrich".. And this specific read is definitely not typical! I was very interested in the blurb and when I finished this book I was happy that I chose it! <br /><br />This is a book about second chances with a twist, it's not an easy read because it's about marriage and the difficulties you face in long term relationships and in real life in general! <br /><br />It's a very emotional read as I mentioned before, not easy :) But I really ended up enjoying this because it's very twisted. I don't want to give spoilers here but a I am going to give a tip: please concentrate with timelines, and if you get stuck thinking there is an error, no it is not.. <br /><br />I recommend this book if you're in the mood for an emotional roller coaster, if you're in the mood to think and re-think and try to solve a puzzle while reading :)<br /><br />My rating is a 4.5 rounded up to 5 and I received an ARC for an honest review.

This is my third angst-filled book in a row (must be something in the air) but this one tops them. In fact, this might be my best read of the year so far. Jax is called to the hospital because her soon-to-be ex-wife has had an accident and is in a coma. Gretchen was leaving the office and slipped on some ice. Their relationship has been deteriorating for the last four years but was getting steadily more acrimonious. When she finally awakens from her coma, Gretchen seems to have quite a few memories missing, including the first three years of their son’s life.<br /><br />This is superb. It’s clever, unexpected, engaging and heart-wrenching. No more needs to be said except: read it.<br /><br /><i>Book received from Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for an honest review.</i>

Deja Vu.<br /><br />Jax and Gretchen are separated and headed toward a divorce until Jax gets a phone call that Gretchen has had an accident and is in the hospital. The situation rattles Jax and has her thinking about the past and how things used to be between them. When Gretchen comes to, she is unable to recall the past few years of her life. <br /><br />I'm a sucker for anything amnesia. There is nothing better than the anticipation of if and when those memories are going to come back. But this book wasn't about that and it made it a unique experience. <br /><br />This book was strongest when Jax was struggling with her thoughts and emotions while Gretchen was still in a coma. It tugged at my heart strings and already had me hoping that the two of them could find their way back to each other at some point. But as the book progressed along, we were provided insight to just how bad it had gotten. The terrible things they said/did to each other pre-hospital made me like both of them less. <br /><br />When you have a story about people who were so right together but then so wrong, it is a hard balancing act to make you want to root for them to find each other again. I wanted to feel like 'Yeah, that was mean, but look at how much she really loves her.' I didn't get that at all. I got 'They hated each other so much that it was irreparable.' <br /><br />This had a weird timeline. It was on purpose and I applaud the author for trying something really experimental and different. I just wish that it would have worked for me more. What it came down to was that there was too much repetitiveness and I never fully understood what happened. I felt like it was missing some explanation that would have pulled it all together.<br /><br />The writing was good. There was a good amount of angst. The overall concept was creative. <br /><br />This would be good for people who like to read about family drama, separation, divorce, raising kids, custody issues, accidents, amnesia, second chances, and deja vu.<br /><br /><i>I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review.</i>

I never know what to expect when I pick up a book written by M. Ullrich.  I went into this read knowing one character had suffered a traumatic brain injury and assumed by the blurb that the amnesia angle would resolve resulting in reconciliation or heartbreak  for Jax and Gretchen. With Ullrich you can never be sure. <br /><br />What the Heart Remembers Most is anything but predictable. Halfway through the book I was  unsettled and confused and questioning what was real and what I had missed. Kudos to the author for complicating what could have been just another amnesia/second chance romance.<br /><br />This is a full  on angst filled drama which pulls you in and makes you choose sides in a failing marriage. I was impressed with the way the book is structured. It jarred my sense of what was happening and  forced me to change allegiance in who I felt was at fault for the disintegration of a once loving relationship. This is not a fluffy read. It's raw and cruel at times. Jax wears her emotions like a shield, a battered warrior unable to take more abuse yet fully aware of the love she once had for Gretchen. Gretchen has no idea what has caused the rift between her and Jax and little understanding of this now cold and distant woman she still loves.  <br /><br />If you are tired of cookie cutter romances then this is a must read. When I read the last page I went back and started rereading the book from the beginning to better understand some of the conversations I glossed over in my initial read. Clever, challenging book. <br /><br />4.5 Stars<br /><br />eARC received with thanks from publisher via NetGalley for review.

I quite liked this emotional journey and found it hard to put down. I really enjoy this author. My only complaint was the ending. When we find out the main reason for Gretchen working so much it's so quick, barely a conversation, and really irked me that this was not communicated to Jax throughout. 17 years and you aren't fully clear about this? Just made me shake my head abit. But overall, excellent read, I liked the "Groundhog's Day" twist. Would recommend.

This is a hard book to rate. If it were a movie, it would be a loose mixture of ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ and ‘Groundhog Day’. Amnesia as an enabler of a second chance in an almost failed long term relationship. It is an ambitious book, hard to write, I imagine, but also sometimes difficult to follow.<br /><br />Jax Levine and Gretchen Mills were a happily married couple until career ambitions, a baby and frequent rows pushed them apart. Days before filing for divorce, Gretchen suffered an accident that left her with brain damage. The injury erased recent years of her memories leaving her with just the recollection of happier times. Will Gretchen’s transformation give them a second chance at love? Can Jax open her heart again after suffering so much?<br /><br />I like that Ms. Ullrich deviated from the normal lesfic romance comfort zone to explore difficult issues such as bereavement, long-term relationship challenges, and mental health. The theme of amnesia and second chances has been used before but here there is an added twist which makes it different from other second chance lesbian romance novels. I don’t want to give too much away but let me say that the timeline is essential to this novel, so much so, that most of the chapters’ titles state a precise point in the story chronology. I’m not sure if this was a helpful guide or a distraction. For me, it was the latter but it might be helpful to other readers.<br /><br />What is certain is that this is an emotional roller coaster, full of angst and drama. I admit it’s not my favourite kind of book but the characters were so lovable and vulnerable that it made it easy to get into. Ms. Ullrich takes her time to develop the story, with small details that seemed apparently unimportant but later gained crucial relevance.<br /><br />Gretchen’s brain seems to play tricks on her but also on the reader. Because of the nature of the plot, there is an inevitable duplication of scenes that play an important role in the story but also sometimes feel repetitive. For this reason, I felt that even though the execution wasn’t perfect, the novel was engaging and kept me entertained. 4 stars.<br /><br />ARC provided by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I am still coming down from my emotional high from this book. What a phenomenal story!<br /><br />So it's 2 am and I've just finished What the Heart Remembers Most, and I am sobbing while typing up my review notes in my phone… Why? Because this book broke me and then put me back together again.<br /><br />M. Ullrich is a favourite of mine because of her out of the box writing and her ability to wreak havoc on my poor heart, but by the end, making me feel emotionally sated. It's a tricky combination that she just gets right, every time. This book is above all others in that regard.<br /><br />I felt so much for Gretchen when she wakes from a harrowing accident to find out that her life is no longer what she remembers. The woman she is devastatingly in love with is no longer hers. Every moment when Gretchen would learn something new and hurtful about her relationship with Jax, the further her heart broke, and as the reader, I felt like I was on that journey with her. I kept crying during these scenes because I felt what she was feeling. It was scary but intoxicating at the same time. I couldn't put the book down.<br /><br />Jax, I just wanted to hug and tell her everything would be ok. She was a beautiful soul that got lost just as much as Gretchen had. I kept shouting in my head to the book "You are both meant for each other! COMMUNICATE!" But they didn't hear my woe's.<br /><br />This is where I need to watch what I say next because with every M. Ullrich book there are big twists and extensive turns and trust me you do not want me to spoil Jax and Gretchen's Journey for you. I will say this Gretchen and Jax are soul mates and if you are a romantic like me, then they deserve your time because no other couple deserve the Happy Ever After like they do.<br /><br />The chemistry between Jax and Gretchen is different from normal books because you're seeing them after seventeen years together. They have an underlying connection that you know is there but don't see until Gretchen wakes up. It's obvious that these two have chemistry and when they do hit the sheets, they set them on fire, but it's the unspoken connection that really had me glued to the page. The love that conquers the hurt. Now that was unbelievable.<br /><br />Like I said, I am a massive M. Ullrich fan, and I typically rate her books five stars because I love her writing. But one book has always been at the top of the list, and that's Life in Death. Her other books have come close too but never quite get top billing like Life in Death does. Well, that my friends has just happened because What the Heart Remembers Most is standing toe to toe with it, fighting for top spot. In fact, it's probably at the top. Go do yourself a favour and grab this book… You can thank me later!<br /><br />Star Rating:<br />5 stars

I was really excited for this book. Since reading Life in Death I’ve placed the author in my must-read-authors list. What the Heart Remember Most is one of those stories that will keep you glued, plenty of drama, a bit of mystery, you would try to guess what’s gonna happen next, you’d think you have predicted the outcome then you scratch your head coz you’re wrong, you’d think it’s building up to something, that it’s going to a definite route, but then it’s not. Not yet. you’d start to think maybe it’s not the kind of romance that will have a typical HEA. Will they end up together or will they not? Shall I give up hope on them? My loyal heart can’t take third parties so the Meredith part was kind of upsetting for me. But it all worked out in the end. Interesting story. Prepare yourself for a mental and emotional calisthenics. You’d get confused, you’d get frustrated, but it will make you believe in ‘forever’. <br /><br />4.5 stars

Exquisitely engaging due to the story and the writing. As a result of reading some of the reviews prior, I knew something unique was going to happen and I was not disappointed. It took me a moment or two or three but I got it. Yeah, me! Chapter headings were very helpful as well as the slight use of word change.<br /><br />This is a read about Gretchen Mills, Occupational Therapist, wife, mother, and to some extent has lost her way in life and in her marriage. Jacqueline Levine, Graphic Designer, wife, mother, and to some extent is unsure how to move forward in her life without her wife. Gretchen and Jax are living separate lives with the help of Amanda (Gretchen's sister) and Meredith (nanny to Caleb). Together, yet apart, they care for their son. Gretchen suffers a brain injury after an accident. The story unfolds with pain, disagreement, uncertainty, healing, and a reflection on what is important in life. While reading I thought about the value and importance of surrounding yourself with people that care about you especially when life throws you the unexpected. Who will be there when you open your eyes.<br /><br />ARC provided by Bold Strokes Books, Inc. via NetGalley with thanks.<br /><br />